Tagebuch

The Kleines Café on Franziskanerplatz in the First District, considered one of the smallest, and cutest, cafés in town. Also known from the movie Before Sunrise with Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy An original watercolor by Judann Weichselbraun | Judann.w@chello.at

Dear Diary,

I woke up and turned on my laptop; might be a response to one of my job queries…

The screen was black; my laptop had crashed. I took a deep breath and tried to calm down: I went to get a cup of coffee, chugged it and left the apartment. On the way to the newsroom, I remembered it was my boyfriend’s birthday. There was a party for him that night at a friend’s. I was miles away; and his ex-girlfriend was supposed to come. Fabulous.

Another deep breath. I pasted the brightest-possible smile on my face and entered the newsroom. It was too crowded, people editing and proofreading all around. Pretending to be up to speed, I went up to my editor and asked about my story. It was a complete mess, apparently; he was working on it right at that moment. I went blank, sat down and started editing. But I was doing anything but... Suddenly, I felt very, very tired.

It was enough surprises for the day, so I decided to go home, get some sleep and then get to work on some more writing – I still needed to finish the….

On the way home, my phone died in the middle of a conversation. I tried to remember the list of groceries my uncle had told me to buy. I smushed the phone into my bag, (what a useless piece of…) and was on the edge of dissolving into a river of tears, when I reached the store. Must collect myself… I found the items as best as I could remember. Doing better now. In fact, I thought, I was holding myself together pretty well, until the stupid cashier messed up something with the register, so I was unable to pay with my bankcard. This only happened when she was there. In my bad German, I tried to tell her that. She didn’t seem to care. I wanted to scream at her, but I couldn’t. She spoke no English, and my German just wasn’t up to the job.

I ran out of the store, mad at everyone, mad at myself. Tears of anger… it was one of those days I wished I had slept straight through.